Excerpt (Hating the Concept of Arrange Marriage-Part 2): Funny Version

Hating the Concept of Arrange Marriage-II (Funny Version..)

Dids…called me up one  afternoon and told me that a lady would going to call regarding some matrimony purpose and the profile of the guy seemed to be good

.(MIND CHEMISRTY:.. Can’t help honey..!!She usually finds every profile good..!! ;-D)

That lady called me up..she was really sweet one..i mean in her way of talking.. and the matchmaking was for her brother. I checked the profile but I didn’t find the profile that much compatible but ok as they use to say… “What`s wrong in talking…you opinion may change.. and moreover in arrange marriage..you need to adjust a lot..!!”

(MIND CHEMISTRY: People..People…People…this is me..and this is my opinion..which unless and until I won’t want…they won’t change…they are rigid…and especially..when it`s all for searching my man...!! Can`t Compromise…and about adjustments....I can give my life for my man….Adjustments are very little things for me...Once “he” is in my life..!!.)

It was quarter to ten, I could not decide what should I do…Should I make the call…or not.(Actually..I forget  to ask his sister at what time I should make the call…anyways ).

I dropped a message on the given number…and checked whether I could make the call or not. I got a reply after 30 minutes: “Will call you after 15 mins.” I waited for more than 15 minutes but didn’t get any call…I was bit tensed, a bit annoyed, a bit disgusted…but..Finally when the clock gonged 11...forcefully I went to bed to make myself sleep.

 (MIND CHEMISTY: What the hell….The things are so troublesome…man….Why Love doesn’t turn up in my life..!!! How lucky the people are who have love marriages..and you Sayoni…You are of no use..!! Anyways..now sleep.. )

It was 11:07,when my phone rang..I was thrilled.... but neither happy nor excited….a mixed kind of feelings were running into my veins..I picked the phone:

Me: “Hello…(in a very suppressive voice)”

Voice : “eemm..uhh….Hi…”..

(MIND CHEMISTRY: The voice isn’t  good...not that impressive..Off..ho....man..avoid pre-assumptions..!!)

Me: “So…I am Sayoni...”

Voice: “My name is Mr. Srijon Kumar  Mitro, and I have completed my Btech degree from HBTI,Kanpur and right now I am working for A2Z company , world`s best company, posted at Gurgaon and  I am earning more than 7 per annum..” 

(MIND CHEMISTY: Sounds like “my name is Khan no, no..…My Name is BOND”. And what is that..”MR.” Is that necessary…??Anyways and A2Z....World best company..?? Since from when..Even, I have never heard about it skipped..and  +7 package…what does that signify…Anyways..!!.)

Me: “that’s great…Gurgaon is a good location…and 7..that`s decent..”

(MIND CHEMISTY: I don’t know what make me to say so..Actually…it is all pretentious..)

Voice: “What is your salary structure..??”

Me: “..Hmm….My CTC is around 3.9 but I am getting 28 in hand” 

(MIND CHEMISTY: I am annoyed like hell..It is the creepiest question one can ever ask me…I really hesitate if someone asks me about my salary…It is because my in hand is very low (as compare to other PSUs pay structure for MTs) I find it shameful… No one knows the truth except we poor management trainees...we all are fooled and perished by the glittery de-fecto pay package..!!! )

Voice: “ohh…3.9..lesser than 7…hahaha…but in PSUs..one is happy at later stage….”

 (MIND CHEMISTY: `What`s the logic behind this big hahahaha…boy..I am just a management trainee, not even completed a year and you….., you are designated as Dy.Manager..still earning 7…and the point is…why are you making such insane comparisons..Mad or What..??)

Me (interrupted): “..hey SKM....in your profile, you haven’t  mention about your hobbies …..”

Voice: “I don’t have any hobby as such..”

Me (interrupted again): “ okh..but hey..any new movie this time..have you watched `AVTARA`..its awesome..one must watch it..”

Voice: “Which one..the one is which Rajesh Khanna has played the leading role..??”

 (MIND CHEMISTY: Man….where are you existing..!! Its unbearable…Who could you…Anyways.. )

Me: “No..no not that one..the latest one..3-D …”

Voice: “No..I didn’t watch…”

Me: “Okh…so any latest read…or latest  book..??”

Voice: “No..I don’t read book…”

Me: “Oks..Actually…I am also not an avid reader..but ya..a good listener..You know my friends use to read the books and then narrate me the stories…and the longest one was.. ‘Gone With the Wind Series’ …It`s a wonderful story..I listened Part-I and Part-II both..”

Voice: “Ok…”

Me: “But, I love to write..I am a regular one …I tweet..I blog…hey..do you have a tweeter or a social account..??”

Voice: “No…not an active account…Once I have created it..but I do not use it regularly…and I do not have a tweeter account..”

(MIND CHEMISTRY: Binary Answer System: Yes or No…Was he is a stupid robot…Such a dumb headed creature...totally nerdish…)

Me: “Then what`s your favorite stuff..?? ”

Voice: “I love to purchase branded cloths..I love brands..You know the watch I use to wear is worth of Rs 25000/- and I also wear a platinum chain…I purchased it from Tanish…You Know….and all my shirts are from Turtle..and my pants are Van-hussen..I use only Bombay-Dying towels..and bed-sheets….Even..I do not compromise with my socks …they are also branded…my comb is made up of special wood..You know.. I imported it from France…” 

(MIND CHEMISTY: WTH…I  am totally out of my mind….he belongs to that”Oh~My~GOD..”Class of Species… Just want to tell him .. “Hello boy….you forgot to mention that….Are your undies  branded too??…!!” What a Big Time Screw....I find it very creepy…it seems like I am talking to one of those O~M~G gals…these were the typical funny and deranged gang of girls at our collage…they used to think that they were very posh and hyper stylo..but poor obnoxious creatures were unaware to the truth that crowd was making fun out of their gesture & posture…

P.S: reminds me about someone…Yes… ‘Suhas’..who played the role of Kareena`s Fiancé in 3 idiots…The profile guy/Voice is exactly the same~ Suhas`s Replica… )

Me: “Ok… I am totally opposite in this regard....I usually don’t go for brand…whatever attracts me..I purchase it…..rather I can say…I am not a tag-lover…but ya..I am an impulsive buyer….sometimes it happens. I spend money..very randomly..”

Voice: “Do you have a saving bank account..and who are your nominees....??” 

(MIND CHEMISTRY: I am perplexed.. What is the link..Perhaps…Why such questions have turned up..)

Me: “No…. and .nominees..I mean for what..I am not getting you....”

(MIND CHEMISTY: My First Binary Answer..&  I am puzzled..!!)

Voice: “No..no..just asking..but you PSU`s guys have lots of fun…so much of benefits and facilities...you people are getting..Medical, LTC, LLTC, leaves like EL,SL.CLs ,and leave encashment facility…Statutory Benefits..Provident Fund..Pension..and  …”

Me (interrupted): “but amongst all…I like the LTC and LLTC facility....I love travelling..” 

(MIND CHEMISTRY: God..My organization should hire this fellow..He would able to deliver a good..PPT(Pre-Placement-Presentation..) during campus-selection…He is so knowledgeable…Master of all rules n regulations of PSUs(even being an employee..Sometimes..I skip..))

Voice: “…ya.. travelling even I like..”

 (MIND CHEMISTRY: Thanks God..at least..we have  something to talk about)

Me (was bit chilled): “That`s sound interesting..!! so where have you been..??”

Voice: “..I made a list of 10-best-places in India, for which I did a lot of home-work,,I have gone through many maps..did googling for hotels…and you know, out of 10, I have completed 8…that too…in a very low-budget profile..Can you imagine…whole Rajasthan trip..which included..Jaipur-Jodhpur-Jaiselmer-Udaipur-Mt.Abu and Chittorgarh..just for Rs 5700/- only….We got a loadging  worth for Rs..50/- and…”

Me (interrupted): “What`s the time now..?”

 (MIND CHEMISTRY: I am  really bored… big time torture. He is a Big  Chapter..…this fellow is a calculator…so money-honey kind of guy..How could I effort to continue with him..!!!)

Voice: “It is 11:23 PM….”

Me: “Oh…Its so late…Can I catch you later…I have some extra session tomorrow…Good Night..” 

(MIND CHEMISTRY: I lie, I am happy… finally rescued... One more thing…..the next day is Sunday… ..and what an answer…..11:23 PM and ..at night…thanks for  reminding me about PM..

PS: And for a night out..You need a reason..and the reason is your company..)

Voice: “Ok..Good Night…uhh…uhh”

Me: (MIND CHEMISTRY: What uhh uhh..Gracefully disconnect the phone..!!)

Phones were disconnected and I was more  than  happy but little bit annoyed too since I knew Dids would going to call me for detailing…but yes..I would manage..!!. And I kissed my teddy and went back to bed with no good feelings (which I knew beforehand) but still….for cherishing my sweetest dreams….dreams about my man..!!